ABBOTT & COSTELLO at the Computer Store

       ABBOTT:   Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
       COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm
                 thinking about buying a computer.
       ABBOTT:   Mac?
       COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.
       ABBOTT:   Your computer?
       COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
       ABBOTT:   Mac?
       COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

       ABBOTT:   What about Windows?
       COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
       ABBOTT:   Do you want a computer with windows?
       COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
       ABBOTT:   Wallpaper.
       COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

       ABBOTT:   Software for windows?
       COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write 
                 proposals, track expenses and run my business. 
                 What have you got?
       ABBOTT:   Office.
       COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
       ABBOTT:   I just did.
       COSTELLO: You just did what?
       ABBOTT:   Recommend something.
       COSTELLO: You recommended something?
       ABBOTT:   Yes.
       COSTELLO: For my office?
       ABBOTT:   Yes.
       COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
       ABBOTT:   Office.
       COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
       ABBOTT:   I recommend office with windows.

       COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets
                 just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type 
                 a proposal.  What do I need?
       ABBOTT:   Word.
       COSTELLO: What word?
       ABBOTT:   Word in Office.
       COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
       ABBOTT:   The Word in Office for Windows.
       COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
       ABBOTT:   The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

       COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with 
                 some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies
                 on the Internet?
       ABBOTT:   Yes, you want Real One.
       COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none
                 of your business. Just tell me what I need!
       ABBOTT:   Real One.
       COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2,3&4. 
                 Can I watch them?
       ABBOTT:   Of course.
       COSTELLO: Great, with what?
       ABBOTT:   Real One.

       COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. 
                 What do I do?
       ABBOTT:   You click the blue "1."
       COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
       ABBOTT:   The blue "1."
       COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
       ABBOTT:   The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.
       COSTELLO: What word?
       ABBOTT:   The Word in Office for Windows.
       COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
       ABBOTT:   No, just one. but its the most popular Word in the world.
       COSTELLO: It is?
       ABBOTT:   Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. 
                 It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
       COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
       ABBOTT:   Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even
                 part of Office.

       COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial
                 bookkeeping you have anything I can track my money with?
       ABBOTT:   Money.
       COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
       ABBOTT:   Money.
       COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
       ABBOTT:   It comes bundled with your computer.
       COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
       ABBOTT:   Money.
       COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
       ABBOTT:   Yes. No extra charge.
       COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
       ABBOTT:   One copy.
       COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? 
       ABBOTT:   Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
       COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
       ABBOTT:   Why not; they own it.