If AOL Made Cars

  1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
  2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-track tape player.
  3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.
  4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
  5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it was the NEW model.
  6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
  7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots of pretty colors and lights.
  8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
  9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
  10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car away.
  11. The AOL car would have an AOL cell phone that can place calls only to other AOL car cell phones.
  12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
  13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
  14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other people's AOL cars stall just for fun.
  15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
  16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gasoline that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.
  17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder: M/F , age?
  18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
  19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are.
  20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.
  21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say "good-bye."


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