20. The radio would be computerized, but you'd need to install
64 Meg of RAM, a new sound card, a game card, a new video
driver, a CD drive, and type C:\radio\talk\rush*.* to get
it to play.
19. The entire engine wouldn't be in the bay at once, and the
car would have to keep stopping and starting to load in
the relevant parts.
18. The speedometer would read 70 even though you are only
17. You would have to have a full service every 500 miles.
16. Your car would refuse to start with a message
"Abort, Retry, Fail?"
15. For some reason the engine controller would need a 1G
hard disc and would take 5 minutes to boot up.
14. The steering wheel would be replaced with a mouse and
you'd need to memorize the keyboard short-cut for "Brake".
13. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available
until after that year -- instead of before it.
12. They wouldn't build their own engines but form a cartel
with their engine supplier. The latest engine would have
16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos,
but it would be a side-valve design so you could use
Model-T Ford parts on it. There would be an "Engium Pro"
with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most
11. The air bag system would say "Are you sure?" before
10. New seats would require everyone to have the same butt
9. We would all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.
8. The U.S. government would be forced to rebuild all of
the roads for Microsoft cars; they will drive on the old
roads, but they run very slowly.
7. The oil, alternator, gas and engine warning lights would be
replaced by a single 'General Car Fault' warning light.
6. Sun MotorSystems would make a car that was solar-powered,
twice as reliable and five times as fast, but would run on
only 5% of the roads.
5. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car.
4. You could have only one person in the car at a time,
unless you bought a Car95 or CarNT -- but then you would
have to buy ten more seats and a new engine.
3. Occasionally, your car would die for NO apparent reason
and you would have to restart it. Strangely, you would
just accept this as normal.
3a. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car
to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install
the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept
2. Every time the lines of the road were repainted, you would
have to buy a new car.
1. People would get excited about the new features of the
latest Microsoft cars, forgetting that these same features
had been available from other car makers for years.