Computer Sales Jargon Explained

Ever wanted to know what all those brilliant lines that make us
buy things we don't want or need REALLY mean?

            High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

NEW -   Different color from previous design
ALL NEW -   Parts not interchangeable with previous design
EXCLUSIVE -   Imported product

UNMATCHED -   Almost as good as the competition
DESIGNED SIMPLICITY -   Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone
FOOLPROOF OPERATION -   No provision for adjustments

ADVANCED DESIGN -   The advertising agency doesn't understand it
IT'S HERE AT LAST! -   Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
FIELD-TESTED -   Manufacturer lacks test equipment

HIGH ACCURACY -   Unit on which all parts fit
DIRECT SALES ONLY -   Factory had big argument with distributor
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -   We finally got one that works

REVOLUTIONARY -   It's different from our competitors
BREAKTHROUGH -   We finally figured out a way to sell it
FUTURISTIC -   No other reason why it looks the way it does

DISTINCTIVE -   A different shape and color than the others
MAINTENANCE-FREE -   Impossible to fix
RE-DESIGNED -   Previous faults corrected, we hope...

HAND-CRAFTED -   Assembly machines operated without gloves on
PERFORMANCE PROVEN -   Will operate through the warranty period
MEETS ALL STANDARDS -   Ours, not yours

BROADCAST QUALITY -   Gives a picture and produces noise
HIGH RELIABILITY -   We made it work long enough to ship it
NEW GENERATION -   Old design failed, maybe this one will work

                    most airports
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE -   Nothing we ever had before worked
                    THIS way
BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES -   We finally got it to fit