Programming in C

              How to program in "C"
1] Use lots of global variables.
2] Give them cryptic names such as: X27, a_gcl, or Horace.
3] Put everything in one large .h file.
4] Implement the entire project at once.
5] Use macros and #defines to emulate Pascal.
6] Assume the compiler takes care of all the little details you
     didn't quite understand.

"It's 5:50 a.m., Do you know where your stack pointer is?"

              How to debug a "C" program.
1] If at all possible, don't; let someone else do it.
2] Change majors.
3] Insert/remove blank lines at random spots, re-compile, and
4] Throw holy water on the terminal.
5] Dial 911 and scream.
6] There is a rumor that "printf" is useful, but this is probably
7] Port everything to CP/M.
8] If it still doesn't work, re-write it in assembler.  This
   won't fix the bug, but it will make sure no one else finds it
   and makes you look bad.