Why Dogs Can't Use Computers

     - He's distracted by cats chasing his mouse.

     - SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.

     - Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.

     - Three words: carpal paw syndrome.

     - Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he's browsing 
              www.purina.com  instead of working.

     - The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.

     - He can't help attacking the screen when he hears "You've Got Mail".

     - It's too messy to "mark" every Web site he visits.

     - The FETCH command isn't available on all platforms.

     - He can't stick his head out of Windows 98.