You know you're an E-mail Junkie if:

 1.  You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to
     check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

 2.  You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with
     Netscape Navigator 2.1 or higher."

 3.  You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom.

 4.  You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,
     like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

 5.  You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your
     lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.

 6.  You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two,
     just for the free Internet access.

 7.  You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.

 8.  You start using smileys in your snail mail.

 9.  Your hard drive crashes.  You haven't logged in for two
     hours.  You  start to twitch.  You pick up the phone and
     manually dial your ISP's access number.  You try to hum to
     communicate with the modem. ...And you succeed.

 10.  You find yourself typing "com" after every period when
     using a word

 12.  You start introducing yourself as "BobPleacher at AOL dot

 13.  All of your friends have an @ in their names.

 14.  Your cat has its own home page.

 15.  You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

 16.  You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you
     check it again.

 17.  Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

 18.  You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are,
     because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered
     to ask.

 19.  You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you

 20.  You tell the cab driver you live at

 21.  You start tilting your head sideways to smile