Millennium Pi (with apologies to Don McLean)

 
 
        A long, long time ago... I can still remember how
        Computers used to make me smile.
        And I knew if I had my chance,
        That I could make electrons dance,
        And maybe I'd be happy for a while.
        But January made me shiver,
        it chilled me deep down in my liver,
        Bad news I'd collected...
        I couldn't get connected.
        I can't remember back that day
        When I first knew the Y2K
        But something touched me anyway,
        The day computers died.
 
        So, ...Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
        Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
        And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
        Saying this will be the day I retire
        this will be the day I retire
 
        Can you write in C plus plus ?
        And do you have faith in your local bus 
        If the driver tells you so?
        Do you believe in Compaq's goals
        Can software save your mortal soul
        And can you teach me how to type real slow ?
        Well I thought that you were prepared
        'Cause your memo said you weren't impaired
        Your stationery's swell
        But you can go to hell
        I was a lonely teenage Unix hack
        With an incantation and a modem jack
        but I knew the cat had left the sack
        The day computers died
        I started singin'...
 
        Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
        Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
        And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
        Saying this will be the day I retire
        this will be the day I retire
 
        Now for 10 years we've ignored the threat
        And we haven't solved the problem yet
        But that's not how it used to be
        When the luddites read for the king and queen
        with a light they filled with kerosene
        And some manuals they stole from you and me
        And while Bill Gates was looking pleased
        Time stole his monopolies
        The courtroom was adjourned
        No verdict was returned
        While Apple tried a color scheme
        The engineers returned to steam
        And we had purges of their dreams
        The day computers died
        We were singin'
 
        Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
        Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
        And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
        Saying this will be the day I retire
        this will be the day I retire
 
        Intel inside in an iron smelter
        The food leftover from my fallout shelter
        Twinkies old and aging fast
        I'd rather eat the grass
        Q and A tried for a system crash
        With the tester on the sidelines in a cast
        Now the timeshare net was running Doom
        While mainframes played a marching tune
        We all tried to log in
        Oh, but we never could begin
        'Cause Cobol tried to take the field,
        And Hollerith refused to yield.
        Do you recall what was revealed,
        The day computers died?
        We started singing
 
        Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
        Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
        And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
        Saying this will be the day I retire
        this will be the day I retire
 
        There we were all in a state
        A generation- really late
        With no time left to start again
        So come on mouse be nimble, mouse be quick
        Don't let my spreadsheet data stick
        Cause data is the devil's only friend.
        As I watched him on my screen
        My hands and face were drenched in steam
        No angel born in hell
        Could run that stupid shell
        And as the ball climbed high into the night
        To call the sacrificial night
        I saw Dick Clark laughing with delight
        the day computers died.
        I met a girl with a cell phone
        And I asked her for a dial tone
        But she just smiled and turned away
 
        I went down to the software store
        Where I'd seen computers years before
        But the man there said the games there wouldn't play
        And in the streets the children screamed
        The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
        their interface was spoken
        The Internet was broken
 
        And the three things I connect to most
        The Website, Lan and the Network host
        Every single one was toast
        The day computers died
        They were singin'
 
        Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi
        Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
        And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies
        Saying this will be the day I retire
        this will be the day I retire.


         


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