Computer Reality Test

     1. What do you think are good names for children?
          a) Scott and Jenny.
          b) Bill Gates IV.
          c) Mozilla and Dotcom.

     2. What's a telephone?
          a) A thing with a round dial you use to talk to others.
          b) A telecommunications device with 12 keys.
          c) Something you plug into a modem.

     3. Which punctuation is most correct?
          a) I had a wonderful day!
          b) I had a **wonderful** day!!!
          c) I had a wonderful day :-)

     4. You wake up at 4:00 a.m. and decide to:
          a) Visit the washroom.
          b) Raid the fridge.
          c) Check your E-mail.

     5. What are RAM and ROM?
          a) A male sheep and a city in Italy.
          b) Hulking stars of the WWF.
          c) I need more of the former and should upgrade the

     6. To avoid a virus you should:
          a) Stay away from people who sneeze and cough.
          b) Never read E-mail titled "Good Times".
          c) Use virus scanning software every time you boot up.

     7. When you want to buy something hard-to-find you:
          a) Ask friends where to purchase it.
          b) Check out the Yellow Pages.
          c) Go to Yahoo!

     8. When you don't understand how to use a new appliance you:
          a) Call the retailer.
          b) Call the manufacturer's toll-free number.
          c) Visit the manufacturer's Web site and look for the

     9. When you want to see all the beautiful people you:
          a) Visit a club on a Saturday night.
          b) Turn on the TV and tune in to Baywatch.
          c) Check out the alt.binary newsgroups.

     10. How do you introduce yourself at a party?
          a) Hi, I'm Jane!
          b) Hi, I'm a Taurus on the cusp.
          c) Hi, I'm a 5'10" hot blonde with a super bod.

     11. When you're interested in someone at a party you say:
          a) Tell me more about yourself.
          b) What's your star sign?
          c) What's your Profile?

     12. If you really like the person, you say:
          a) Could you tell me your phone number?
          b) What's your E-mail address?
          c) Let's chat Private.

     13. When I say spam, you think:
          a) Ham in a can.
          b) Unsolicited advertising E-mail.
          c) I mailbomb all spammers!

     14. When you receive an AOL trial diskette, you say:
          a) I don't need another mug coaster.
          b) Great! I'll reformat and use it for backups.
          c) Great! I'll sign up under a fake ID and use up the
             50 hours.

     15. When you want to research a reference you:
          a) Open up a volume of your encyclopedia.
          b) Slip Encarta in your CD-ROM drive.
          c) Go to

     16. When you write a letter you:
          a) Put pencil to paper.
          b) Open Eudora.
          c) Ask: What's a letter? Is it like E-mail?

     17. Different types of text formatting include:
          a) Writing and printing.
          b) Underline and double-strike.
          c) Bold and italic.

     18. You correct errors using:
          a) An eraser.
          b) White-out.
          c) Backspace or delete.

     19. You sign your name:
          a) Best regards, John Smith.
          b) See you in IRC, John_Smith.
          c) Check out my home page for the cool links

     20. To keep a copy of your letter you:
          a) Insert a carbon and a second sheet.
          b) Take it to the photocopier.
          c) Check your Sent Mail folder.

     SCORING: Give yourself zero points for each "a" response,
          five for each "b" and 10 for each "c".
       => If you scored 150 or higher, unplug your computer and
          log more hours in real life.
       => If you scored between 50 and 145, you're living a good
          mix of Net and reality.
       => If you scored under 50, you probably didn't read this