The Top 10 Things
You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support

     10. "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

     09. "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

     08. "So -- what are you wearing?"

     07. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"

     06. "Press 1 for Support. 
          Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes.
          Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

     05. "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife,
          a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."

     04. "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

     03. "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"

     02. "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics.

     01. "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."