What If ...

Adapted from Don't Make Me Laugh at copie.com

If Radio Shack made toasters, they'd be affordable but you couldn't just grab one and pay the cash. First you'd have to provide your phone number and wait for the clerk to access your purchase history. Then you'd have to listen to a sales pitch for the extended warranty.

If Xerox made toasters, you could brown one side at a time or both sides at once or 100 slices in succession. But you'd have to call for a repair tech at least once a day.

lf Timex made toasters, they might not be too pretty, but they'd keep working no matter how many times you dropped them.

If the Franklin Mint made toasters, you'd receive a new installment in the Americana Toaster Series every other month.

If Sam's Club made toasters, they'd be cheaper than any other toaster on the market -- as long as you bought them by the dozen.

If Sony made toasters, they'd run on batteries, include a clip for easy attachment to your belt, and be the same dimensions as the average slice of bread -- but they'd cost more than any two larger models put together.

If Microsoft made toasters, you'd have to buy a new one every time you bought a loaf of bread -- whether you wanted it or not. And even though all your friends would say they hate Microsoft toasters, they'd all have one because the best breads only toast in a Microsoft.