The Top 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support

10. "Do you have a sledgehammer or a
        brick handy?"

09. "...that's right, not even McGyver
        could fix it."

08. "So -- what are you wearing?"

07. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"

06. "Press 1 for Support.
        Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes.
        Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

05. "We can fix this, but you're gonna
        need a butter knife, a roll of duct
        tape, and a car battery."

04. "In layman's terms, we call that
        the Hindenburg Effect."

03. "Hold on a second ...
        Mom!   Timmy's hitting me!"

02. "Okay, turn to page 523 in your
        copy of Dianetics.

01. "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."