Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing!
He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
All generalizations are false, including this one.

Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant

A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.

A mind is a terrible thing to . . . uh, I forgot.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing.
Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.

Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!