Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Can fat people go skinny dipping?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why does a cowboy wear two spurs?   If one side of the horse goes, so does the other.

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
What are Preparation A through Preparation G?

Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
Is it possible to be totally partial?

Why is a boxing ring square?
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

What's another word for thesaurus?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

What is a "free" gift?   Aren't all gifts free?
Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

How come there aren't B batteries?
If a funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

What's another word for synonym?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail by the thousands per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

If you are crosseyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do they call it a "TV set" when you only get one?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest is there a sound?
Is a metaphor like a simile?

Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Before drawing boards were invented, what did they go back to?

If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
How is it possible to have a civil war?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
What do you do when an endangered animal eats endangered plants?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do witches run spell checkers?

Why is the alphabet in that order?   Is it because of that song?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Crime doesn't pay... does that mean that my job is a crime?
Why do noses run and feet smell?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If you work in a hospital, can you call in sick?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Is there another word for synonym?

How can there be selfhelp "groups?"
How do a fool and his money GET together?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
How do you throw away a garbage can?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Why are all the home economics teachers divorced?

How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
If Superman is so smart, then why does he wear his underpants on the outside of his trousers?

If a turtle does not have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If you throw a cat out the car window, does it become kitty litter?
Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing people is wrong?

Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

Why do banks charge you an "insufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?

What is the speed of dark?
What happened to the first 6 "ups?

Why do they sell cigarettes at the gas station if you can't smoke there?