* Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
* A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
* An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
* Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
* Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
* Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
* Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
* Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
* Dogs shed, cats shred.
* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?
* If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket, then giving Fido only two of them.
* No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
* Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.
* Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
* I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
* Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
* Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
* People that hate cats will come back as dogs in their next life.
* We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?
* Women and cats will do as they please ... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
* When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
* In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.