1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
2. When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.
3. If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
4. It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
5. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?
6. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
7. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
8. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.