* How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it ...
* Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
* A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
* I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
* Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
* England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
* I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
* They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
* I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
* Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.
* I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
* I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
* When chemists die, apparently they barium.
* I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
* I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
* I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
* Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
* When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
* Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.
* What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
* I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.
* All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.
* I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
* Velcro - what a rip off.