Washington Redskins
Did you hear about the sign posted in the elevator at RFK?
It read:
Would the lady who left her eleven children at the stadium
please come pick them up? They're beating the Redskins 21-0.
The Redskins were playing the Cowboys. Someone lit off a
firecracker and the Cowboys, thinking it was the gun signaling
the end of the half, headed for the showers. After only eight
plays, the Redskins scored.
Here's a twist to the story above:
When the firecracker went off and the other team left the
field, the Redskins had to punt four plays later.
Even before the Washington Bullets changed their name to the
Wizards, there has been talk about changing the name of the
Redskins because it was demeaning to Native Americans. Here are
some of the suggestions to replace the Redskins:
The Washington Hurlers:
They make you want to puke.
The Washington Broilers:
Put a fork in 'em--their done.
The Washington Opossums:
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
The Cleveland Redskins:
Self-explanatory I think.
The Washington Redskins are changing their name because of all the hatred, violence,
and hostility associated with it.
From now on they will be known simply as the Redskins.
Why can't Richmond, VA get a professional football team?
Because then Washington will want one!
"Did you hear that Jack Kent Cook has sold the Redskins to a
group of investors from the Philippines?"
"Yeah. They're gonna call them the Manilla Folders"
A man came into a bar with his dog.
Bartender: We don't allow dogs here.
Dog Owner: Please let him stay, our TV is down and he loves to
watch the Redskins.
Bartender: Well, OK, but if he is a problem, you're outta here
They sit at the bar and the dog is quietly lapping at his
beer. In the second quarter, the Redskins kick a field goal. The
dog goes wild, yipping, jumping up and down, tail wagging, etc.
Bartender: WOW, he really does enjoy the game. What does he do
when the Redskins score a touchdown?
Owner: How would I know, the dog is only two years old.
Judge, in child custody court: Well now, the child should have
some say in this. Son, do you want to live with your mother?
Child: Oh no judge, don't make me live with her. She beats me.
She beats me bad.
Judge: Well then, would you rather live with your father?
Child: Don't make me live with him. He beats me worse. He
beats me awful bad.
Judge: Son, you have to live with somebody. Who do you want to
live with?
Child: I want to live with the Washington Redskins, They never
beat anybody.
John Elway, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God
was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded
Broncos flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, John,"
said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
John felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the
porch, he noticed another house just around the corner.
It was a 3-story mansion
with a Burgundy & Gold sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an
enormous REDSKINS logo flag, and in every window, a Redskin emblem. John
looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have
a question. I was an all-pro QB, I won 2 Super Bowls, and I even went to
the Hall of Fame."
God said "So what's your point John?" "Well, why does
Sonny Jurgensen get a better house than me?"
God chuckled, and said "John, that's not Jurgensen's house, it's mine."
An obituary for John Ray Bartgis of Mechanicsville, Virginia ran in the Richmond Times-Dispatch on Wednesday November 12, 2014. His obituary included a reference to his favorite professional football team.
"John was also a diehard Washington Redskins fan," the obituary read. "And one of his final wishes was that the team members would be his pallbearers so they can let him down one last time."