I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that
everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door
opener.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people
didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer
cans!
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping
Rust."
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease ... that's when your chest is
falling into your drawers! Has a cure been found yet??
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you
got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an
emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do ... write to these men? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
delivered the mail?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
they get older then it dawned on me - they were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.