The Top Ten Excuses For Not Doing Your Math Homework

#10. Galileo didn't know calculus; what do I need it for?

#9. "A math addict stole my homework. When they arrested him,
      they discovered Mr. Pleacher had been his teacher."

#8. I'm taking physics and the homework in there seemed to involve
      math, so I thought I could just do that instead.

#7. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in the margin.

#6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.

#5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove
      that it converged.

#4. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook.
      I couldn't actually reach it.
      (I reached half way, and then half of that, and then ...)

#3. I couldn't figure out whether
      i am the square root of negative one or
      i is the square root of negative one.

#2. It was Einstein's birthday and pi day
      and we had this big celebration!
      (This only works for March 14)


#1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.


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