Mathematical Riddles

What did the acorn say when he grew up?
        Answer: Geometry (Gee, I'm a tree!)

Why is simplifying a fraction like powdering your nose?
        Answer: It improves the appearance without changing the value.

What is a parrot apt to do if he sees a cat?
        Answer: Polyhedron (Poly, He'd run!)

What do you call an insect that's not feeling well?
        Answer: A secant (sick ant)

What is the opposite of a stop sign?
        Answer: A cosine. (A go sign!)

What do you call a parrot that should go on a diet?
        Answer: A polynomial (Poly, no meal!)

What branch of mathematics is studied by the very young?
        Answer: Topology.

What math is discussed between sea gulls?
        Answer: Integral Calculus (Inter-gull Calculus).

What do you call two bolas?
        Answer: A Parabola (A Pair o' Bola)

Why are huge chrysanthemums like some parabolas?
        Answer: Because they're both maximums.

What does a mathemaician every Sunday morning?
        Answer: The Conic Section (The Comic section)

Why did they put the mathematician in prison?
        Answer: He tried to kil o meter.

Why is the meter stick such a stubborn ruler?
        Answer: Because he won't give an inch.

What will happen to the inch worm when we go to metric?
        Answer: He'll become a centipede.

Why is April 1st so tired?
        Answer: You'd be tired, too, after 31 days of March!

What do clowns do after April 30th?
        Answer: Matrix (May tricks)

What do mathematicians sleep on?
        Answer: Matrices, of course!

What do you get when you cross a pigeon and a zero?
        Answer: A Flying Nun!