I Am the Very Model of a Modern Mathematician

lyrics by Lin Parker
in The Mathematics Teacher October 2001
may be sung to the tune of
"I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General,"
from the Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert and Sullivan 

I am the very model of a modern mathematician;
I'm fluent in all measurings, both metric and American;
I know that pi is 3.141592654
And many many many many many many places more.

I can figure averages-mean and mode and median;
And I can crunch the numbers for a standard deviation;
I check the tails of normal curves, 5 percent in each; and hence
Reject the null hypothesis with ninety percent confidence.

Reject the null hypothesis with ninety percent confidence,
Reject the null hypothesis with ninety percent confidence,
Reject the null hypothesis with ninety percent confidence.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
At finding max and minimums, I'm simply just miraculous;
In matters mathematical- both simple and quadratical,
I am the very model of a modern mathematician.

In matters mathematical- both simple and quadratical,
He is the very model of a modern mathematician.