After doing each problem on your calculator, turn the calculator upside down to read the message!   Unfortunately, some scientific calculators display the numbers/letters differently!

1. What did the jolly fat man in the red suit say?
    (.344552 - .22334) ÷ 3 = ____________

2. What does Jimmy do after drinking too much?
    (37,164.18 + 1.2) ÷ 7 = ____________

3. What has a thigh, a knee, and a shin?
    (251.03 - 16.78) x 4 = ____________

4. Who invented the first phone?
    7,700 + 40 - 2 = ____________

5. What is your teacher's best tennis stroke?
    148,488 ÷ 184 = ____________

6. Enter in 14 for the number of miles your Ford F150 gets on each gallon of gas.
    Now enter 215 for the number of miles you drive to school in a year
        (Don't add or subtract; just make one continuous number).
    Now enter 469 (without the decimal) for the price per gallon of gasoline.
    Now press the times sign and a five for the number of days you drive to school in a week.
    Then press the equals sign or Enter button to get your answer.
    Turn the calculator upside down to see who is making all the profit from your driving.
    ____________

7. How is math this year?
    42 x 3 x 5 x 83 x 277 = ____________

8. How do plan to get an A?
    (197 x 25.08 + .14) x 19 = ____________

9. How was your shopping trip?
    23,156,754 ÷ 3 = ____________

10. What constantly gets stepped on but never complains?
    (8,814 + 789) x 4 ÷ 12 - 156 = ____________

11. I need a volunteer!
    .05623 + .04148 = ____________

12. Type in 1376 for the amount of money that Tom bet on his horse.
    Now enter 1452 for the amount of money that Bob bet on his horse.
    Multiply this number by 4 to find out whose horse won. ____________

13. What does the Dallas quarterback say on the eve of the Redskins game?
    12,491,108 - 8,983,337 = ____________

14. Enter 8301 for the number of Redskin fans in Winchester.
    Subtract 226 for the number of Dallas fans in the world,
    and you will discover another name for a person who likes the Cowboys. ____________

15. How should you drive on an icy road?
    16 - .7258 - 9.7777 - 5.42141 = ____________

16. Where do the pigs go during a flood?
    1.7466 + 174.66 + 27.4664 + 1,746.6 + 5,764.431 = ____________

17. Where was Napoleon's last domain?
    1,234 x 5 - 2,552 + 255 = ____________

18. What singing group sang, "Me and You and a Dog named Boo"?
    13.719 ÷ 170 = ____________

19. What did the queen hide behind her fan as the emperor walked by in his new clothes?
    3,039,352 ÷ 8 = ____________

20. What did Ellen say when kissed by William L'Amour?
    210 x 4 + 771,000 = ____________

21. What is the only place worse than math class?
    (216,593 + 6,380,509) ÷ (1,851 - 998) = ____________