The Three Wise Men

Do you know what would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men?

They would have asked directions,
arrived on time
helped deliver the baby,
cleaned the stable,
made a casserole, and,
brought practical gifts.

Pass it on to the wise women in your life!!

But here is what REALLY would have happened:

They would have first gone to the beauty salon,
had a wash, set, and manicure,
then home to pick out a proper outfit.
Then they would have changed the outfit 5 times,
called everybody they knew to talk about the trip,
and arrived late -- VERY LATE!
Actually, they probably wouldn't have arrived at all --
halfway to the oasis, the camel would have broken down
because no one remembered to check his water level!





Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories.   She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.   "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.

"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said.

"But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius -- the Pilot!"





A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.

A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'





                Jesus' Report Card 


Interim Report

Student: J. CHRIST  Form: III  Term: 1


SUBJECT         GRADE           TEACHERS COMMENT
______________  ______          _________________________________

Religion        D               To the question "Who made the
                                   world?"  persisted in
                                   answering 'My dad'. Claims
                                   Bible originated from the same
                                   source.

English         D+              Tends to speak and write in
                                   archaic forms and uses
                                   outmoded figures of speech.

History         A               Excellent pupil of ancient and
                                   Religious History.

Geography       C-              Assignment on 'Hot, dry lands'
                                   was excellent, but shows
                                   little interest in the rest.
                                   In geology, keeps talking
                                   about the Rock of Ages
                                   instead of the ages of Rock.

Social Studies  B+              Shows keen interest in social
                                   issues. 

Mathematics     F               Lacks basics.  Keeps muttering
                                   about 'Three in one' and 'I
                                   and the father are one'.

General         D               Lacks discipline - e.g., when 
Studies                            asked to repeat the experiment
                                   for making hydrogen, claims he
                                   knew a better way.

Graphic         D               Prefers to draw with a stick in
Communications                     the sand to pencil and paper.

Consumer        C+              Interesting ideas about 
Education                          alternative life style:
                                   Something about living like
                                   sparrows and lilies of the
                                   fields...too impractical.



Art Craft       B               Obviously has imagination and
                                   creativity, a good potter -
                                   likes working with dirt and
                                   water.

Material        A               Excellent in woodwork section.
Studies                            Obviously receives help and
                                   stimulation at home.

Music/          B+              A keen member of the school 
Drama                              choir. On occasions can be
                                   frighteningly dramatic.

Community       A               Keen and interested in all 
Living                             aspects of community.

Physical        D-              A trouble maker - e.g., during 
Education                          the learn-to-swim campaign
                                   insisted on trying to walk
                                   across the pool.

Health          A               Shows a remarkable aptitude for 
Classes                            first aid and knowledge of the
                                   body.


TEACHER'S COMMENT: This boy has a very unhealthy tendency to form
gangs.  He has organized twelve of his friends into a gang and is
seen constantly in the company of the children of publicans and
sinners.  He needs to be more selective in his choice of friends. 
Also, he should learn to keep his hair at a tidy length and not
wear sandals with the school uniform.