Finkelstein and Jesus
Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when He decided that He really needed a new robe. After looking around for a while, He saw a sign for Finkelstein, the Tailor. So, He went in and made the necessary arrangements to have Finkelstein prepare a new robe for Him.
A few days later, when the robe was finished, Jesus tried it on and it was a perfect fit! He asked how much He owed.
Finkelstein brushed him off:
"No, no, no, for the Son of God?
There's no charge!
However, may I ask for a small favor?
Whenever you give a sermon, perhaps you could just mention that your nice new robe was made by Finkelstein, the Tailor?
Jesus readily agreed and as promised, extolled the virtues of His Finkelstein robe whenever He spoke to the masses.
A few months later, while Jesus was again walking through Jerusalem, He happened to walk past Finkelstein's shop and noted a huge line of people waiting for Finkelstein's robes.
He pushed his way through the crowd to speak to him and as soon as Finkelstein spotted Him he said: "Jesus, Jesus, look what you've done for my business !
Would you consider a partnership? "
"Certainly," replied Jesus. "Jesus & Finkelstein it is."
"Oh, no, no," said Finkelstein.
"Finkelstein & Jesus.
After all, I am the craftsman."
The two of them debated this for some time.
Their discussion was long and spirited, but ultimately fruitful and they finally came up with a mutually acceptable compromise.
A few days later, the new sign went up over Finkelstein's shop.
Lord & Taylor
Elvis - Jesus Similarities:
Coincidence or Cosmic Plan?
You be the judge!
Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956)
Jesus is the Lord's shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.
Jesus was part of the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Ghost).
Elvis' first band was a trio (Elvis, Scotty and Bill).
Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)
Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.
Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.
Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink."
(John 7:37)
Elvis said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)
Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for
breakfast)
Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)
Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers. (The Gospel According
to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers. (Elvis: A
Golden Tribute)
"[Jesus] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as
snow." (Matthew 28:3)
Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.
Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.
Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate
Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate
Conception High School.
Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still
considered to be his foremost recordings.
Jesus was the lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.
Jesus' Father is everywhere.
Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.
Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis' favorite high school class was wood shop.
Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.
Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
Elvis Presley has 12 letters.
No one knows what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stood for.
No one was really sure if Elvis' middle name was "Aron" or
"Aaron".
Jesus is often depicted in pictures with a halo that looks like a
gold plate.
Elvis' face is often depicted on a plate with gold trim and sold
through TV.
Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.
Jesus made reference to a Canaanite woman, saying, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs." (Matthew 15:26)
Elvis made reference to a woman, saying "You ain't nothing but a hound dog."
Jesus was regarded by some to have been an extraordinary prophet.
Elvis was regarded by some to have made an extraordinary profit.
Jesus had Doubting Thomas.
Elvis had "Suspicious Minds."
Jesus made rocks roll away from his tomb.
Elvis was a rock and roll singer.
Jesus had a purple robe.
Elvis drove a pink Cadillac.
Jesus died for us.
Young girls would 'die for' Elvis.
Jesus was born in humble surroundings.
Elvis was born in Mississippi.
"In the beginning all was dark and void." - Genesis
"Before Elvis, there was nothing." - John Lennon
Jesus is spelled with five letters, ending in S.
Elvis is spelled with five letters, ending in S.
Jesus is widely known on a first name basis.
Elvis is widely known on a first name basis.
A star appeared when Jesus was born. (Matthew 2:2)
Elvis almost appeared in A Star Is Born.
Three wise men waited for the Messiah to appear.
"I've waited my whole life for this boy." — Colonel Tom Parker
People called Jesus a "...glutton and a drunkard."(Luke 7:34)
People called Elvis an "... overweight druggie...".
Jesus said, "Don't store away gold or silver, travel without money."
Elvis never carried any money on his person.
"They took up stones to cast at Jesus." (John 8:59)
Elvis was often stoned.
Jesus said, "Upon this rock I will build my church."
Elvis created rock music and sang gospel.
Jesus stayed up all night in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Elvis was nocturnal.
Jesus breathed in the Jordan air.
Elvis recorded with the Jordanaires.
Jesus cured the leprous, the deaf and the blind.
Elvis gave away Cadillacs to ease the burden of poverty.
Jesus' father gives us our daily bread.
Elvis' father had a job delivering groceries.
Jesus loved children--he said, "Suffer the little children to come unto me." (Mark 10:14)
Elvis loved children--he began dating Priscilla when she was 14.
Jesus loved the lepers, beggars, and other society outcasts.
Elvis loved The Untouchables. He had seen almost every episode.
Jesus departed and went into a desert place, and the people sought Him and came unto Him. (Luke 5:42)
Elvis drew sellout crowds in Vegas.
Jesus preached the gospel to Peter, Paul and Mary.
Elvis sang tunes by Peter, Paul and Mary.
Jesus loved Mary Magdalene.
Elvis and Magdalene Morgan were 'sweethearts' from the end of the fifth grade until Elvis moved to Memphis in the beginning of the seventh grade.
Jesus' fame spread throughout the land. (Matthew 9:26)
Elvis is internationally famous.
Jesus said, "You will know them by their fruits." (Matthew 7:16)
Elvis sang "Tutti Frutti." (RCA, 1956)
Jesus fed seafood to a hungry crowd. (Mark 6:41)
Elvis fed seafood to a hungry crowd. (Clambake, 1967)
Jesus delivered the Sermon on the Mount.
Elvis sang "You Gave Me A Mountain To Climb".
Jesus was arrested--he defied the Romans and started a worldwide religion.
Elvis was arrested--he beat up a gas station attendant.
Jesus said, "Many shall come in my name, saying I am Christ". (Matthew 24:5)
There are thousands of Elvis impersonators in the world today.
Jesus said "Today, shalt thou be with me in paradise". (Luke 23:43)
Elvis said "Welcome to Paradise--Hawaiian style". (Paradise Hawaiian Style, 1966)
Jesus lived for 33 years.
Elvis made 33 movies.
"I am the Alpha and the Omega." - Revelations 1:8
Elvis served in the Alpha company in the Army.
Jesus is the Bread of Life. (John 6:48)
Elvis was the Toast of the Town. (The Ed Sullivan Show, 1957)
Jesus said, "Render...unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's." (Matthew 22:21)
Elvis always paid his gambling debts to Caesar's Palace.
Jesus is remembered on Palm Sunday in the Spring.
Elvis went to Palm Springs for the sun.
Jesus delivered us.
Elvis helps us get delivered (Elvis stamp, 1993).
After the last supper, Jesus sang a hymn. (Matthew 26:30)
Elvis loved to sing, especially after supper.
Jesus said, "Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit" (Luke 23:46).
Elvis sang "Return To Sender".
Jesus taught that His followers should love Him.
Elvis said "Love Me Tender".
"Christmas" has nine letters and "Graceland" has nine letters.
And the three letters shared in common, spell both "arc" and "car".
Even today Jesus has a cult following.
Even today Elvis has a cult following.
Jesus was a Jew.
Elvis was part Jewish (from his maternal great-grandmother, Martha Tackett Mansell).
Jesus was called the "KING" of the Jews.
Elvis was called the "KING" of Rock 'n Roll.
Where in the Bible do we find the Lord doing house cleaning?
"Jesus wept" (Jesus swept)