The following article contains the names of all thirty-two NFL team nicknames hidden within the words.   See if you can find them all!
Click here for a list of the thirty-two NFL Teams.

                Why a minister decided not to attend Football games

  1. I attended for years but the coach never paid me a visit.   It answered my question about how much he cared for me.   Give the telecom man DERS assessments to test his cerebral cortex answers.
     
  2. It is too commercial.   Ions and atoms can't force me to go to a game.   Every time I get the notion to drop in on a game, it costs me money.   And the food tastes like offal.   Consensus is that it's road kill!   Others say it tastes like dolphins from the sea.   Hawks, starlings, ravens, and other birds from the air could be in the food, too.
     
  3. It is too hypocritical.   More than 49 ersatz fans were obviously more interested in food and drink than in the game.   Guys buy their favorite sandwich -- a hamburger or a Reuben.   Gals prefer pizza or hot dogs.
     
  4. There are lots of people who never go to football games.   Look at all the hikers, backpackers, and snowshoers who are out on the trails.
     
  5. The last time I went to a game, someone was rude to me.   Wild horses and colts couldn't make me go back!
     
  6. Sometimes children become unruly and fail to pay attention to the game -- they pretend to be pirates, buccaneers and Indian chiefs.
     
  7. I can't spare the time.   My son goes to enough games for the whole family.
     
  8. I am not a liar -- am sure that some people come just to be seen.   They come dressed in their Pierre Cardin.   Also, they wear their Izod shirts with their team logos.   It reminds me of the Roman games when IV, V, or VI kings would show up at the events.
     
  9. The field judge said things I couldn't agree with.   I really had a cow!   Boy, some calls just didn't make sense.   My superb ears could hear the referee asking the back judge and the line judge for help.   Just when they seemed to have things down pat, riots break out on the field.
     
  10. I used to go to games, but I got bored and stopped.   The game is dumb.   I'll stay at home and save my money.
     
  11. Nobody ever asked me to play or even spoke to me.   It's true that when my wife and I walk around the block, I pant.   Her stamina is much better than mine.   But they still could have said something to me!
     
  12. The band played tunes I didn't know -- songs from They Might Be Giants, James Brown, Steve Miller Band, The Eagles, Paul Revere and the Raiders, and that Elton John song called "Benny and the Jets."   Ain't sure why anyone would listen to that music!
     
  13. I was forced to go to Steelers games as a child.   Maybe I'll start going to games when I get older.
     
  14. We just moved here six years ago and I haven't had the chance to see a game.
     
  15. The seats are too hard, and it is always too warm or too chilly.   None of my friends goes to games.   My sis, bro, 'n Costa Rican wife say they can watch the games on TV.   Besides, there are no electrical outlets for your laptops or cell phone chargers.
     
  16. There are so many different teams to root for; I can't decide which one is best.
     
  17. People who put on the games are only after your money and their language is offensive.   The team owner drives a Jag.   "U arse, get out of my parking spot!" he hollered at my friend.   Why would I want to support that?
     
  18. I have bought a book about football.   I can stay home and read it, or watch the game on TV, and I figure I'm still just as good a fan as anybody.   Besides there are plenty of others who attend the games and buy enough tickets to keep the thing going.