At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry to the car industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry
has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got
1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release (by Mr. Welch himself) stating:
"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:"
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would
have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive
on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn,
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in
which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy
more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive,
but would only run on five per cent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights
would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning
light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The air bag system would say "Are you sure?" before going
off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of
the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe
set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even
though they neither need or want them. Attempting to delete
this option would immediately cause the car's performance
to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a
target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car, buyers would have
to learn how to drive all over again because none of the
controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
14. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until
after that year instead of before it.
15. People would get excited about the "new" features in
Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been
available in other cars for years.
16. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.
17. The U.S. government would be GETTING subsidies from an
automaker, instead of giving them.