AT&T VIRUS -- Every three minutes it tells you what great service
you are getting.
MCI VIRUS -- Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying
too much for the AT&T virus.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS -- This revolutionary virus does not horse around.
It warns you of impending hard disk attack -- once if by
LAN, twice if by C:\
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS -- Never calls itself a "virus", but
instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS -- You know. ..It terminates and stays
resident. It'll be back.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS -- Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software says everything is just fine.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS -- Divides your hard disk into hundreds of
little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all
of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
GALLUP VIRUS -- Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent
of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent
margin of error).
TEXAS VIRUS -- Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS -- Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #1 -- The computer locks up; screen splits erratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for
the problem.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2 -- Runs every program on the hard drive
simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
PBS VIRUS -- Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.
SEARS VIRUS -- Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power
supply, and a set of shocks.
IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS -- Sings you a song (slightly off-key) on boot-up,
and then subtracts money from your Quicken account that it spends
entirely on expensive shoes that it purchases through Prodigy.
STAR TREK VIRUS -- Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
before.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS -- Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong,
and sends you a $4,500 bill.