WHO'S ON FIRST?
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer
store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up
an office in my den,
and I'm thinking about
buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer.
I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's
Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy
in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer
with windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will
I see when I look in
the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.
I need a computer and
software.
ABBOTT: Software for windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I
need something I can
use to write proposals,
track expenses and run
my business.
What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office.
Can you recommend
anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended
something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you
recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend office with
windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office
and it has windows! OK,
lets just say, I'm
sitting at my computer
and I want to type a
proposal. What do I
need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office
is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for
Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office
for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when
you click the blue "W."
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your
blue "W" if you don't
start with some straight
answers. OK, forget
that. Can I watch
movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe
a cartoon. What I watch
is none of your
business. Just tell me
what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If its a long movie I
also want to see reel
2,3&4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer
and I want to watch a
movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."
COSTELLO: I click the blue one
what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1."
COSTELLO: Is that different from
the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One
and the blue W is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for
Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words
in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. but its
the most popular Word
in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair,
there aren't many other
Words left. It pretty
much wiped out all the
other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real
one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to
do with Word. Real One
isn't even part of
Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that
again. What about
financial bookkeeping
you have anything I
can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do
you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track
my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with
your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my
computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my
computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money
with my computer?
How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to
copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a
license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a
license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not; they own it.