THE REVEREND ELTON JONES
Rescue Mission
Dakota, Iowa 61765
April 19, 2014
Dear ________ ,

Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in
the causes of temperance. Each year for the past fourteen, I
have made tours of Florida and Southern Georgia, Indiana, Iowa,
and Illinois, and have delivered a series of lectures on the
evils of drinking. On this tour, I have been accompanied by a
good friend and assistant, Clyde Lindstone. Clyde, a young man
of good family and excellent background, is a pathetic example of
life ruined by excessive indulgence in whiskey and women.

Clyde would appear with me at the lectures and sit on the
platform, wheezing and staring at the audience through bleary,
bloodshot eyes, sweating profusely, picking his nose, passing
gas, and making obscene gestures, while I would point him out as
an example of what over-indulgence can do to a person.

Last Fall, unfortunately, Clyde died. A mutual friend has
given me your name, and I wonder if you would be available to
take poor Clyde's place on my up-coming tour?

Yours in Faith,


The Reverend Elton Jones
Rescue Mission