1. Part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer
history if you die.
2. Nothing is so bad as that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Does it really matter if I say "who" instead of "whom"?
7. Map Quest really needs to start its directions on #5.
I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. We've had zip codes for 50 years now.
Why do we still need to write the city and state on the envelope?
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment
when you know that you just aren't going to do anything
productive for
the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray?
I don't want to have to restart my collection . . . again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report
that
I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know
not to answer when they call.
15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they
said?
18. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.
19. For men:
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys,
finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey,
but most women can spot a "sale" sign from a mile away.
20. For women:
The first testicular guard, the "cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and
the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years
for men to realize that their brain is also important.