Why did the chicken cross the road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment
would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we
were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep
him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having their motives called
into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed
the road, and there was much rejoicing.
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
the chicken did NOT cross the road.
BILL CLINTON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
the chicken did NOT cross the road.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing
walking around all over the place, anyway?"
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000,
which will not only cross roads, but also will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to
cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. It
transcended it.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?