• The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner

  • I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone.   He asked me what I was wearing

  • 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

  • The world has turned upside down.   Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

  • This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog.   It was obvious she thought her dog understood her.   I came into my house & told my cat.   We laughed a lot.

  • Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.   Pajamas will have you believe all is well.

  • Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

  • This virus has done what no woman has been able to do.   Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!

  • I never thought the comment, "I wouldn't touch him/her with a 6-foot pole" would become a national policy, but here we are!

  • I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

  • I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard.   I’m getting tired of the Living Room .

  • Appropriate analogy.   "The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now" is like saying:
    "The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now ."

  • Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & asking for money.

  • The spread of COVID-19 is based on 2 things:
        1.   How dense the population is.
        2.   How dense the population is.


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