I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -Dolly Parton-
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see
a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong-
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -Wendy Liebman-
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -Erma Bombeck-
I think-therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead-
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. -Elayne Boosler-
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson-
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything
done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-
Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber-
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky-
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Handsome-
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine-
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley-
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-