I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -Dolly Parton-

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong-

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -Wendy Liebman-

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -Erma Bombeck-

I think-therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead-

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler-

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson-

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened. -Cora Harvey Armstrong-

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. -Helen Hayes (at 73)-

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. -Janette Barber-

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -Lily Tomlin-

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. -Carrie Snow-

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. -Laurie Kuslansky-

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -Erma Bombeck-

Old age ain't no place for sissies. -Bette Davis-

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. -Rhonda Handsome-

The phrase "working mother" is redundant. -Jane Sellman-

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. -Jennifer Unlimited-

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton-

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. -Caryn Leschen-

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. -Jennifer Unlimited-

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine-

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! -Kathy Buckley-

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr-

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinem-

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt-