1. "ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING"
2. "West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last names"
3. "Time's fun when you're having flies.......Kermit the Frog"
4. "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH"
5. "A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS,
but it uses up a thousand times the
memory."
6. "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years."
7. "NyQuil -The stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine"
8. "My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God,
and I didn't"
9. "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION.
It comes bundled with the software.
10. "I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN"
11. "A hangover is the wrath of grapes"
12. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance"
13. "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
14. "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music"
15. "They call it "PMS" because
"Mad Cow Disease" was already taken"
16. "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead"
17. "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN ...
Cops have nothing to go on."
18. "The Meek shall inherit the earth....
after we're through with it."
19. "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
20. "MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT"
21. "Computer programmers don't byte,
they nybble a bit."
22. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.