They Can Send Me to College, But They Can't make Me Think!
Blessed Are They Who Can Laugh at Themselves, for They Shall Never Cease to Be Amused.
I Wish the Buck Stopped Here; I Could Use a Few.
This Body is a Temple; Chocolate Worshipped Daily.
My Dog Can Lick Anyone.
Mom and Dad Worked So I Could Have a College Education; I'll Give Them Free Fries for Life.
Sooooo, When's the Wizard Getting Back to You About That Brain?
Consciousness: That Annoying Time Between Naps.
I Haven't Lost My Mind - It's Backed Up on a Disk Somewhere.
Real Men Don't Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair.
I'd Quit This Job But I Need the Sleep.
I Have the Body of a God; Unfortunately, It's Buddha.
I Miss My Ex, But My Aim is Improving.
Smile: It Makes People Wonder What You're Up To.
Alcohol and Calculus Don't Mix; Never Drink and Derive.
Chlorine: The Breakfast of Champions.
Four Years of College and Whom Did It Get Me?
Should I Talk to the Man in Charge or the Woman Who Knows What's Going On?
Ex-Wife for Sale - Just Take Over Payments.
He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest.
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, So Please Shut Up.
Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups.