- I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won.
(around a picture of
dandelions)
- So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me.
- If They Don't Have Chocolate in Heaven, I Ain't Going.
- At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All ...
I Just Can't Remember It All.
- My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips.
- I Just Do What the Voices Inside My Head Tell ME to Do.
(Picture of an open Bible on the front of the shirt, this on
the back):
When All Else Fails, Read the Directions.
- A Man Did This to Me, Oprah. (worn by a pregnant woman)
- Eleventh Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Whine.
- If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off.
(on a passing
motorcyclist)
- I Used to Be Schizophrenic, but We're OK Now.
- If I Had Known Being a Grandparent Was So Much Fun,
I Would
Have Done It First!
- My Governor Can Beat up Your Governor.
(over the outline of the
state of Minnesota)
- Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Did A Little Shopping.
- What If the Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About?
- I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to be a Vegetarian.
- Yale is Just One Big Party. (on the front)
With a $25,000 Cover Charge. (on the back)
- Coffee, Chocolate, Men ... Some Things Are Just Better Rich.
- Liberal Arts Major ... Will Think For Food.
- Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional.
- Don't treat Me Any Differently than You Would the Queen.
- Gravity ... It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law!
- If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen.
- First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, Closed.
- The Old Pro ... Often Wrong ... Never in Doubt.
- In Dog Years, I'm Dead!
- I conquered Bulimia (on a rather large male)
- Love May Be Blind, But Marriage Is a Real Eye-Opener!
- If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You.
- The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There's No Lifeguard.
- Get a New Car For Your Spouse. It'll Be a Great Trade.
- It's Hard To Be Nostalgic When You Can't Remember Anything.
- Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off.
- I'm Going To Graduate On Time, No Matter How Long it Takes.
- Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well.
- A Day Without Sunshine Is Like night.
- A City Is a Large Community Where People Are Lonesome Together.
- First Things First, but Not Necessarily In That Order.
- Old Age Comes At a Bad Time.
- In America, Anyone Can Be President.
That's One of the Risks That You Take.