George Bush to Condoleeza Rice: "Condi! Nice to see you. What's
happening?"
Condi: "Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China."
George: "Great. Lay it on me."
Condi: "Hu is the new leader of China."
George: "Yeah. That's what I want to know."
Condi: "That's what I'm telling you."
George: "That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?"
Condi: "Yes."
George: "I mean the fellow's name."
Condi: "Hu."
George: "The guy in China."
Condi: "Hu."
George: "The new leader of China."
Condi: "Hu."
George: "The Chinaman!"
Condi: "Hu is leading China."
George: "Now whaddya' asking me for?"
Condi: "I'm telling you Hu is leading China."
George: "Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?"
Condi: "That's the man's name."
George: "That's who's name?"
Condi: "Right."
George: "Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new
leader of China?"
Condi: "Yes, sir."
George: "Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in
the Middle East."
Condi: "That's correct."
George: "Then who is in China?"
Condi: "Yes, sir."
George: "Yassir's in China now?"
Condi: "No, sir."
George: "Then who is?"
Condi: "Yes, sir."
George: "Yassir?"
Condi: "No, sir."
George: "Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new
leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N.
on the phone."
Condi: "Kofi?"
George: "No, thanks."
Condi: "You want Kofi?"
George: "No."
Condi: "You don't want Kofi."
George: "No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass
of milk. And then get me the U.N."
Condi: "Yes, sir."
George: "Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N."
Condi: "Kofi?"
George: "Milk! Will you please make the call?"
Condi: "And call who?"
George: "Who is the guy at the U.N?"
Condi: "Hu is the guy in China."
George: "Will you lay off of China?!"
Condi: "Yes, sir."
George: "And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy
at the U.N."
Condi: "Kofi."
George: "All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the
phone."
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: "Rice, here."
George: "Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe
we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle
East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?"
(Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this today after Hu Jintao was
named chief of the Communist Party in China.)