DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things
about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.
JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs.
Period.
BRAD KLIPPERT: I'm concerned the chicken might be gay or confused, and if so, it might affect other chickens, so it's up to me to make sure everyone knows, that I know,
which bathroom I'm going to tell him/her/it to use, once he/she/it crosses that road.
ALEXANDRIS OCASIO-CORTEZ: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
JEROME DELVIN: I'm reassigning the chicken to cross a different road.
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, she's a maverick!
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after
the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
LISA RECTOR THOMAS: Because it was Miller Time, or maybe the chicken wanted to run for Governor, or maybe the chicken just couldn't wait to get Hatchered.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not
live his life like the rest of the chickens.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
DON BRITAIN: I just wanted to lend a helping hand to that young, struggling, hot bird to get across the street never seeking reciprocity for the favor, of course.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how
it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.
JAY INSLEE: Because the grass for the chicken is so much greener on the other side due to my focus on climate change, I'll worry about choking the chicken's economy to death later.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2020, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook –
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
AUGUST MOBIUS: To get to the same side.
ISAAC NEWTON: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
DARTH VADER: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking all over the place anyway?"
JERRY FALWELL, Jr.: Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to the "other side."
That’s what they call it — the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
ANDRE AMPERE: To keep up with current events.
ROBERT BOYLE: She had been under too much pressure at home.
JAMES WATT: It thought it would be a good way to let off steam.
THOMAS EDISON: She thought it would be an illuminating experience.
JEAN FOUCALT: It didn't. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross.
KARL GAUSS: Because of the magnetic personality of the rooster on the other side.
GUSATV HERTZ: Lately, its been crossing with greater frequency.
GEORG OHM: There was more resistance on this side of the road.
ZENO: It cannot be shown that an infinite number of mid-points can be crossed in a finite amount of time; therefore, the chicken cannot get to the other side of the road.
ARISTOTLE: The end toward which a chicken crosses the road is happiness.
RENÉ DESCARTES: The chicken crosses the road; therefore, it exists.
GEORGE H.W. BUSH: Read my lips; "No chicken crossed any road."
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
THE CHICKEN: To get away from coronavirus riddled Tyson Fresh Meats in Wallula.
