There were seven constipated men in the Bible, the book of Moses.

The first constipated man in the Bible was Cain - he wasn't Abel.
(Genesis 4:2)

The second constipated man in the Bible was Noah - he went for forty days and forty nights and passed nothing but water.
(Genesis 7:17)

The third constipated man in the Bible was Moses - he took the tablets.
(Exodus 32:15)

The fourth constipated man in the Bible was Balaam - he couldn't move his ass.
(Numbers 22:27)

The fifth constipated man in the Bible was Samson - he brought down the house.
(Judges 16:31)

The sixth constipated man in the Bible was David - he dropped the big one.
(I Samuel 17:40)

The seventh constipated man in the Bible was Solomon - he sat for forty years.
(II Chronicles 9:30)


I tried to remember the lyrics above that Will Dyson taught me from his church camp days.   But I may have lost something in translation.

Here are additional lyrics, several stating that there were only 5 constipated men and several stating that there were ten.

Sherry Roth added her lyrics:
We sang that David sat (ie reigned) for 40 years, and that "Judah will sit (ie exist) forever."

Michale Wacks writes:
Titus. His name speaks for himself
'The last verse is "v'Yehuda l'olam teshev," which translates as Judah will sit forever. (Joel 4:20)'

John Wolff wrote:
"There was Joshua, He blew the walls down...

Ken Goldman wrote:
Pharoh, he wouldn't let my people go.

Mayer Shevin wrote:
"there was Jonah/ who had a whale of a time"

Other contributors wrote:

There was Noah / He had an arkful.

There was Barruch ... He tied his ass to a tree

One contributor sent in this list of the ten constipated men:
There were ten, ten constipated men in the bible.
1st was cain, he wasn't abel,
Solomon sat for 40 years.
Then came Adam,he soiled the garden.
Next was David, he threw a stone,
Balaam couldn't move his ass.
And Noah he filled the ark.
Soon was Moses, he took the tablets,
Samson he knocked the house down.
Joshua, he blew the wall down.
Next was King David, his sound of his Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Those are the ten, ten constipated men in the bible.

Click here for a video of 5 Constipated Men

And of course, the one constipated woman in the bible - Eve - she passed the apple.