In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and
spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan gave them Ben and Jerry's and
Krispy Kreme. And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man
said: "Yes!" And Woman said: "I'll have one, too . . . with sprinkles."
And lo, they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure
that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from
size 2 to size 14.
So God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad." And Satan presented
crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side. And Man and
Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said: "I
have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook
them." And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped
lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God created the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin,
sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats,
adding copious quantities of salt. And Man packed on more pounds.
God then provided running shoes so that his children might lose those
extra pounds. And Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed
and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretchy Lycra
jogging suits.
God then gave them lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories
and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan brought forth McDonald's and
the 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said: "You want fries with
that?" And Man replied: "Yes! And super size 'em!" And Satan said: " It
is good."
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed . . . then created quadruple by-pass surgery.
Satan just chuckled...and developed HMO's.