The heaviest element known to science, was recently discovered by
physicists at the Yale's Research Center. The element, tentatively
named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an
atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant
neutrons 75 vice- neutrons and 11 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives
it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a
nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like
particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact
with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium
caused a reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would
normally occur in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal life of approximately three years, at
which time it does not actually decay but, instead, undergoes a
reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons and
assistant vice-neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that
the atomic weight usually increases after each reorganization.
Research at other laboratories indicate that administratium occurs
naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points
such as government agencies, large corporations, universities and can
actually be found in the newest, best maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that adminitratium is known to be toxic at any
level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions
where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to
determine how administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible
damage, but results to date are not promising.