Engineers, Mathematicians, and others

• What College graduates ask...
  • The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
  • The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
  • The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
  • The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
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• Equations and the Real World
  • Engineers think that equations approximate the real world.
  • Scientists think that the real world approximates equations.
  • Mathematicians are unable to make the connection...
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• A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.

  First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

  • The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.".
  • The Biologist's conclusion: "They have reproduced".
  • The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again."
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• In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention -- so he's let go. The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime so he is set free too. They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem..."

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• A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.
  • The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems.
  • The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health.
  • The mathematician says: " You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife --- you can do some mathematics.

Links:

	Handley Math Humor Page

	Handley Math Home Page