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What did the acorn say when he grew up?
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Answer: Geometry (Gee, I'm a tree!)
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Why is simplifying a fraction like powdering your nose?
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Answer: It improves the appearance without changing the value.
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What is a parrot apt to do if he sees a cat?
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Answer: Polyhedron (Poly, He'd run!)
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What do you call an insect that's not feeling well?
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Answer: A secant (sick ant)
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What is the opposite of a stop sign?
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Answer: A cosine. (A go sign!)
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What do you call a parrot that should go on a diet?
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Answer: A polynomial (Poly, no meal!)
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What branch of mathematics is studied by the very young?
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Answer: Topology.
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What math is discussed between sea gulls?
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Answer: Integral Calculus (Inter-gull Calculus).
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What do you call two bolas?
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Answer: A Parabola (A Pair o' Bola)
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Why are huge chrysanthemums like some parabolas?
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Answer: Because they're both maximums.
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What does a mathemaician every Sunday morning?
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Answer: The Conic Section (The Comic section)
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Why did they put the mathematician in prison?
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Answer: He tried to kil o meter.
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Why is the meter stick such a stubborn ruler?
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Answer: Because he won't give an inch.
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What will happen to the inch worm when we go to metric?
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Answer: He'll become a centipede.
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Why is April 1st so tired?
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Answer: You'd be tired, too, after 31 days of March!
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What do clowns do after April 30th?
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Answer: Matrix (May tricks)
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What do mathematicians sleep on?
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Answer: Matrices, of course!
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What do you get when you cross a pigeon and a zero?
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Answer: A Flying Nun!
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