What do you call a parrot that should go on a diet?
Answer: A polynomial (Poly, no meal!)
What do you call two bolas?
Answer: A Parabola (A Pair o' Bola)
What do mathematicians sleep on?
Answer: Matrices, of course!
Why do mathematicians like national parks?
Answer: Because of the natural logs.
One day, Jesus said to his disciples:
"The Kingdom of Heaven is like y = 3 x^2 + 8 x -
9."
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter:
"What, on Earth, does he mean by that?"
Peter smiled. "Don't worry. It's just another one of his parabolas."
Who invented algebra?
Answer: A Clever X-pert.
What do you call friends who love math?
Answer: algebros
How do you know that your dentist studied algebra?
Answer: She said all that candy gave me exponential decay.
Although horses can add, why should you not try to teach them analytic geometry??
Answer: Because you don't want to put Descartes before the horse.
What kind of log is African drum music?
Answer: Logarithm
Teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?"
Student: " Ten Q"
Teacher: "You're Welcome."
Telephone operator: "I am sorry but the number you dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and dial the number again."
The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
He says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy.
Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"
"Certainly", say the snakes.
"We're adders, and we need logs to multiply."
