What did the acorn say when he grew up?
Answer: Geometry (Gee, I'm a tree!)
Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's round table?
Answer: Sir Cumference
How many classical geometers does it take to replace a lightbulb??
Answer: None: You can't do it with a straight edge and a compass.
What is the only known cure for a bad case of right angles?
Answer: Pythagorean serum.
My geometry teacher was sometimes acute, and sometimes
obtuse, but always, he was right.
The Planes Indians practiced polygamy, and one chief had three squaws.
The first squaw lived in a teepee of elk hide, the second in a teepee
made of buffalo hide, and the youngest in a teepee of hippopotamus hide.
Then he slept with each wife on the eve of his great hunting trip.
He was gone nine moons and when he returned, he went into the elk hide teepee
and found that his wife had borne him a son. Likewise, in the buffalo hide
teepee, that squaw, too, had borne him a son. So, imagine his surprise when
he found twin baby boys in the hippopotamus hide teepee.
This just proves that ...
The squaw of the hippopotomus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
Every time I see an opportunity to make a math joke the conversation goes off on a tangent.
A teacher was explaining to her geometry class that it was physically impossible to trisect an angle with just a compass and straightedge. A young woman raised her hand and said, "That's not true. I've seen it done."
The teacher replied, "You must be mistaken. It is one of the impossible constructions."
"Well," said the girl, "when I get to heaven, I'm going to ask Euclid."
Annoyed, the teacher asked, "And what if Euclid went to hell?"
"Then you can ask him."
What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a?
Answer: Pi z z a!
