For a good prime, call 555-7523
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at Math!
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Old math teachers never die, they just become irrational.
Old math teachers never die, they just tend to infinity.
Old math teachers never die; they just become angles.
Old math teachers never die, they just reduce to lowest terms.
Old math teachers never die; they just pass into another sphere.
Old math teachers never die, they just disintegrate.
Old math teachers never die, they just go off on a tangent.
Old math teachers never die, they just use strange expressions.
Old math teachers never die, they just can't differentiate.
Old math teachers never die, they just lose their identities.
Old math teachers never die, they just lose some of their functions.
Old math teachers never die, they just subtract.
No beer at math parties because you can't drink and derive.
Fibonacci's daughter was not named "Bunny."
Michael Rolle was not Danish, and did not call his daughter "Tootsie."
William Horner was not called "Little-Jack" by his friends.
The "G" in G. Peano does not stand for "grand."
Rene Descartes' middle name is not "push."
Isaac Barrow's middle name is not "wheel."
There is no such place as the University of Wis-cosine, and if there was, the motto of their mathematics department would not be "Secant ye shall find."
Although Euler is pronounced oil-er, it does not follow that Euclid is pronounced oi-clid.
Franklin D. Roosevelt never said "The only thing we have to sphere is sphere itself."
Math puns are the first sine of madness.
As easy as 3.1415926...
An abacus is one tool that you can always count on.
Some mathematicians are reluctant to cosine a loan.
Your lucky number is 9412853042157621. Watch for it everywhere.
I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions.
Mathematicians are sum worshippers.
I'm bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.
Mathematics teachers call retirement 'the aftermath'.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
Graphing rational functions is a pain in the asymptote
(e.g., y = 1/x).
Show me poetry about STP, and I'll show you an additive inverse.
Show me a Junior-Senior Prom, and I'll show you a periodic function.
If God had wanted us to use the metric system, he would have chosen TEN disciples.
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
My geometry teacher was sometimes acute, and sometimes obtuse, but always, he was right.
There are three kinds of mathematicians -- those who can count and those who can't.
There are 10 groups of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
There are two groups of people in the world: those that don't do math, and those that take care of them.
Mathematics is made up of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
The polite mathematician says, "You go to infinity -- and don't hurry back!"
Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
In God we trust, All others must supply data.
When a mathematician writes a Fantasy book, will the page numbers be imaginary numbers?
You've one mouth and two ears...use them in that proportion.