A "sillygism" is a sequence of statements which appear logical but which produce nonsense.
The sillygism is a play on syllogism, which is a form of deductive reasoning consisting of a major premise, a minor premise, and a conclusion.
1. I am a nobody...
Nobody is perfect...
Therefore, I am perfect.
This sillygism reminded me of the passage from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll:
White King: Just look along the road, and tell me if you can see either of them."
Alice: I see nobody on the road.
White King: I only wish I had such eyes. To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance too!
Once Haigha, the messenger arrives, he is quizzed in a similar fashion.
White King: Who did you pass on the road?
Haigha: Nobody.
White King: Quite right: this young lady saw him too. So of course nobody walks slower than you.
Haigha: I do my best. I'm sure nobody walks much faster than I do!
White King: He can't do that, or else he'd have been here first."
2. Stealing refigerators is hard work...
Hard work is good for you...
Therefore, Stealing refrigerators is good for you.
3. A tuna sandwich is better than nothing...
Nothing is better than unlimited wealth, health, and happiness...
Therefore, a tuna sandwich is better than unlimited wealth, health, and happiness.
5. A lazy dog is a slow pup.
A slope up is an inclined plane.
An ink-lined plane is a sheet of writing paper.
Therefore, A lazy dog is a sheet of writing paper.
6.
| No Study | = | Fail |
| + Study | = | No Fail |
| No Study + Study | = | Fail + No Fail |
| (No + 1) Study | = | (No + 1) Fail |
| Therefore, Study | = | Fail |
7. Time waits for no man.
No man is an island.
Therefore, time waits for an island.
8. No cat has eight tails.
Since one cat has one more tail than no cat,
It must have nine tails.
9.
| 1 dollar | = | 100 cents |
| = | (10 cents)2 | |
| = | (0.1 dollars)2 | |
| = | 0.01 dollars | |
| = | 1 cent |
10. Martin Luther provides a good mathematical proof about beer:
"Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep;
whoever sleeps long, does not sin;
whoever does not sin, enters Heaven!
Thus, let us drink beer!"