Top Ten Things
You Don't Want To Hear
From Your Teacher on
the First Day of School

10. "My name is Mr. Pleacher...but if the feds ask, I'm Mr. Johnson"

9. "Sorry I'm late...some bullies threw me into a locker"

8. "Anybody need lottery tickets or cigarettes?"

7. "My system is simple...I assign grades by height"

6. "I will learn your names by January"

5. "Mathematics, Numerology, what's the difference?"

4. "Today you'll be dissecting the person sitting next to you"

3. "The rat problem in the basement is over. The menu for the rest of the week in the cafeteria is mystery meat"

2. "I know your elective is supposed to be Spanish, but we had to schedule you for 'Custodial Labor'"

1. "I'm gonna learn you all kinds of smart things"

Send any comments or questions to: David Pleacher