There's a fair bit about constipation in the Bible:
The first constipated man in the Bible was Cain - he wasn't Abel.
(Genesis 4:2)
The second constipated man in the Bible was Noah - he went for forty days and forty nights and passed nothing but water.
(Genesis 7:17)
The third constipated man in the Bible was Moses - he took the tablets.
(Exodus 32:15)
The fourth constipated man in the Bible was Balaam - he couldn't move his ass.
(Numbers 22:27)
The fifth constipated man in the Bible was Samson - he brought down the house.
(Judges 16:31)
The sixth constipated man in the Bible was David - he dropped the big one.
(I Samuel 17:40)
The seventh constipated man in the Bible was Solomon - he sat for forty years.
(II Chronicles 9:30)
Where did Bathsheba get her name?
King David saw her when she was taking a bath; before that, she was just known as the Queen of Sheba.
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most
quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23.
She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm.
After much practice, he could barely get past the first
line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the
microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to
know."